Faith’s womb was damaged because dad had done abortion for her three times. But how manage I didn’t know all these when it was happening right under my nose? If I accused mum of carelessness, I think I was more careless than her. How can my sister be pregnant for my dad three times without me knowing? She did three abortions and I was not aware? Adenike you’re very stupid and useless, I insulted myself.
I had sat down to weight the consequences of exposing dad and killing him. Killing him seems better. It will clean the mess and save the family name from shame and disgrace. Exposing him will drag the family name to the mud and lives everlasting stigma to our generation. The stain will haunt us all, our lives and our unborn children. Who knows if he had done it with Christy and Grace too? That will be the worst of the blow. Grace was gone but I can find out from Christy if she had been abused by dad too.
I was deep in this though when I slept off. In my brief sleep I had a long dream. In my dream, I sent thugs to kidnap my spirit husband who had been abusing me. They brought him into a thick forest where he was tied, hands and foot. The leader of the gang gave me a gun to shoot him. I took the gun and pulled the trigger and blew his head off. As soon as I killed him, some police officers surrounded us and took us away. We were thrown behind bars with serious torture. Still in my dream we were charged to court and when the court clerk called my case she said “I hereby call up the case between Miss Adenike Fowogbade and the state”. The judge looked into the file before him and looked at my face, Miss Adenike Fowogbade you were accused of the murder of Mr Temitayo Fowogbade on the 17th of September, are you guilty or not? I had not said a word when the judge pronounced his judgment.
Having been found guilty of this offense of murder you are hereby sentenced to death by……. That was the last thing I heard and the next I saw was that I was thrown into a dark bottomless pit and I was going down endlessly then I woke up. I was so frightened and my body was shaking uncontrollably for minutes. I became restless because I understood the dream. All messages I ever heard on hell fire flashed back in a jiffy.
I tried to pray but to pray but no single word came out of my mouth. I tried crying but my tears were held back. My knees were hitting each other. I lied on the floor for 25 minutes without knowing what to do. The earth was so empty as if rapture had taken place. I looked right and left nobody to talk to. I looked down, the fear of hell gripped me. So I decided to look up to God for help. I felt an invisible presence at my back saying “The prayer of a sinner is an abomination before God”. I picked my Bible but the pages were blank. O God have mercy on me! I know I had gone far away from you but please remember the blood of your Son, Jesus Christ. I wept in bitterness.